Sunday, January 28, 2007

Jailer of Love



A friend was talking about the Jailer of Love from FFXI, and I got inspired by the idea, or maybe simply the name, to create it as a horror device. It's a very interesting subject, of how love can make a person into a prisoner of a secluded and invisible world, haunted by a jailer always looming above or behind them.

Partially because of my inspiration from reading House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski, I want to incorporate the idea of the Jailer of Love as an element of a horror story. A haunting, in a sense.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Eva's Prophecy

A sacred dance of worlds of wonder
Long forgotten by our world under
The fourth eye shall open the book
And we won’t have but one last look
To tell your fortunes from the skies

Dreams waiting to be torn asunder
But my blood shall carry to the end
This will, this world, will not bend
Those purple eyes and stripes
Won’t be forgotten till inside the knife

The last footstep to descend
Will be The Lavender Eyes
With the star shaped heart
And this lore descending with

Eva, the Prophet

F_Sketch

Fortuneteller Beginnings

Þ First.

Alike that prophecy there was a hundred other entries engraved upon the stone walls of the ruins, most of which were by the same ancient character, Eva. The abandoned hallways of the temple along with the eerie inscriptions on the walls gave off an atmosphere that made the place seem much colder than it actually was. The ruins, though low lying, covered a large portion of the dying jungle they inhabited. It did not seem to disturb the growth of the parasitic flora of the forest, as their roots ran like veins across the walls and the floors, gripping the very place with a death hold as though it was determined to strangle the breath out of the stones themselves.

The writing itself was in an alien language, to the greatest degree, that was composed of scratches and marks that almost appeared to be naturally occurring forms of erosion. The name Eva was scribbled often—sometimes her own writing or sometimes another’s that was citing her. It was amazing to be able to use the language that Dmetri had been taught by his mother when he was growing up, and even more amazing that he had remembered it all this time.

His mother had been from this place, she had been born here, although she was made to leave when she was picked up by a human space craft after being stranded there only long enough to learn how to stand. She had taught Dmetri everything she knew about the Naski and their history through bedtime stories and songs, and implied that he should visit the ruins himself someday like she did later in her life. But him ending up here was not by his own decision, it was purely a weird twist of fate that he stood inside the very building where his mother had been born, before the very remnants of the species he descended from.

Yaamefli, Dmetri’s mother, had alluded to Eva often herself, implying that the Naski gave a light to Eva similar to that of a goddess, or a prophet. But she was a Naski who existed a very long time ago, even though her premonitions held loosely through many years.

Dmetri paced through the corridors, ultimately bored by all the useless scribbling, he stopped reading it and just began looking around. Some of the walls were falling apart; others had been taken apart by the forest. The most peculiar thing about the walls and the floor though, was some of them were simply cracked looking as though it were being wedged apart by invisible sources.

The room Dmetri came upon was showered with a single ray of light coming from the ceiling. There were roots entangling the structures within the room, going in and out of the walls through cracks and then branching out into the open looking like they were reaching out for a hand shake. The floor, however, was of more interest.

The floor of this room was cracked, and whatever was cracking the walls was seeping out into the open. It was a clear crystalline substance, looking slimy with its green shine, overflowing from the crack in the floor and covering most of the floor. For the most part, it didn’t look like it was intended to be there.

Dmetri had seen this mentioned before, it was the kraranasha xiya (in English: conqueror crystal). The Naski had blamed their descent from the poisoning this xiya brought as it overtook their cities and destroyed their population. There was no reasoning provided as to why it had invaded their cities, or as to why it was only present in some of the Naski ruins when practically all of their kind died out. Dmetri could only assume it was hazardous. The very existence of the crystal in this room seemed forewarning; it glazed the floor and was spreading outward from this wound in the stone. The ruins themselves were fighting a losing battle. A white crystal glazed the floor; it almost looked like it had just been dug out of the ground. It was not ice, as it shined green in places the light from a hole in the rock ceiling. There were no roots entwined in the walls, but the white crystalline substances ran its way mimicking the roots all across the room from its little nest (it’s heart). The shards of it sticking up, as though it could have been growing there recently. The crystal was not flat, but it did cover the walls with veins.

Þ Trying crystal: Second.

The entire floor had a huge crevasse in it, the cracks of it extending out to greet the walls. Dead leaves that had floated in from the opening in the ceiling covered the floor along with pieces of decaying vines and roots, almost camouflaging what lay underneath embedded within those cracks breaking the room apart. But Dmetri didn’t have to step any closer to see what was under the leaves, as it lay shining in the speckled light flying in from above. It was a clear crystalline structure overflowing out of the crevasse and glazing the entire floor, trying to take a hold on the walls from its heart in the cracks. It had been mentioned in the writings on the walls before this room in a fashion similar to that of a warning, it was called the kraranasha xiya, or conqueror crystal. The Naski had lost to it, and so the ruins themselves were succumbing to it. There was no reasoning provided as to why it had invaded their cities, where it had come from, or as to why it is blamed for the Naski’s disappearance when it is only present in some of the ruins around the planet (i.e.: what had really caused the Naski’s demise).

There was no way to cross the room without stepping into it.

Prophet of the Naski

Changes made:
  • Changes entered on the alternate beginning page.
  • Keeping: “The room was showered with a single ray of light coming from the ceiling. There were a few stems of the root that went through the wall, then back out and were sticking out as though they were hands waiting to be shaken.”
  • Radiation: xiya doesn’t spread like veins; it cracks the walls and embeds itself inside of the rock instead of outside of it. Furthermore the radiation is only the explanation for the death of the Naski and the dying forest; it is not severe enough that it would be registered on applications.
  • Dmetri didn’t crash on the planet. He landed but the craft he was in broke down shortly after. The reason why he’s there is disputed, he could be looking for Yaamefli, or maybe he simply was running out of fuel and it was the only place to land.
  • Yaamefli wasn’t transported off of the planet by Setsua or any of the Naski. She was picked up by the human space craft that had come to check out what had happened to the former one that had brought Kasio.
  • Dmetri has knowledge of the Naski and his mother, then picks up on the information (knowing the language from Yaamefli) when reading Setsua’s writing.
  • Setsua is a prophet/elder, which is a professional job in the Naski society. It is required of her that she writes down the history of the Naski. The room Dmetri comes upon is actually a library, which he finds Setsua’s entries open on a desk. (changing the part about it being written on the wall)
  • Dmetri isn’t wearing any dumb armor suit, it’s changed to simply an armored outfit, and it is possible to remove it, so psh.
  • The details about the surgery of the Naski children is more relevant, especially in Dmetri’s appearance and what Amin comments on. It also greatly effects Amin’s level of trauma in Part 2, as she is horrified by the deformities in the baby, although he lives.
  • Remember to comment on Dmetri’s appearance.
  • Ages: Aminoniet is 28, Dmetri is 24, and Rhyski is 42. (Dmetri has to be younger than Amin)
  • Names: the name of Rhyski’s two husbands needs to be edited.
  • Rhyski: the incident with the murder of Prince Kana needs to be changed so that it does not comment on the fact that they look like foxes. Restricting on the aliens.
  • Exactly as printed “No wrists? Wtf?”
  • Don’t dramatize Milnie’s existence too much. I mean… ultimate evil, come on, man.
  • “Tales on the walls of Naski who were outcast because they had no telepathic ability.”
  • Dmetri’s hands have a long stitch on one side where the second thumb was sewn up.
  • There may be an outcast Naski child that Dmetri runs into named Gaunzi. Either that or Milnie runs into him, perhaps.
  • Yaamefli looks similar to the prophet Eva.
  • Setsua’s lover: Kasio. Brothers: Anezlo and Nasyck. Dmetri’s father: Nyura.
  • Amin’s… vibrant anger.
  • Yikulo, the planet, has rings.
  • Dmetri finds out about Amin’s intentions off of an old broadcast of criminals he had saved because of a different reason. He confronts her and she pulls out the knife realizing her cover has been blown.
  • Dmetri is so emo.
  • Amin is Russian, she has a Russian accent, but Ghiskie is similar to German.
  • Amin has two pistols on her belt when Dmetri finds her, but they are both out of ammo. She hits him with one sometime.
  • Dmetri locks her in the ship when he leaves. Or something similar to that. She might try to follow him once or twice. Or maybe he only goes back once and she misses the chance but then she takes it to steal from his ship, getting Yaamefli’s knife (Keitra ceremonial dagger)
  • Don’t forget the infection that gets Dmetri after she cuts him.
  • Strange red mist over the field.
  • Amin insinuating that she’s going to kill him, foreshadowing for later events.
  • Naski days are shorter than Earth days. Almost half.
  • Rhyski Fonal recognizes Aminoniet, but Dmetri Gloshaki persuades her to take Amin along.
  • Rhyski asks if they should take the little ship along, also asks Dmetri what he’s doing with Amin / what he’s there for.
  • Rhyski’s ship is not a shuttle. It’s a personal craft that is SMALL.
  • Rhyski needs to be aggressive when dealing with Amin.
  • Aura is common language.
  • Rhyski’s brother is a bounty hunter.
  • “Amin laughed, looking at the screen. ‘Rhyski, how do you do it?’ She whispered even though Rhyski was no where around, ‘how do you keep from killing me?’
  • “So, Rhyski, why aren’t you still mad at me?” Amin laughed.
    Rhyski glanced at her; “I would have killed you. I can still kill you, but I’ve got more important things to do. But keep in mind I will make no move to rescue you from any fate you’ve set up for yourself.”
  • “What’s to become of me?”-Amin
    “I’m taking you back to Earth with me” –Rhyski
  • “SHUT UP!” Rhyski shouted as she swerved around, “Amin, you don’t understand this, but I’m not the kind that shouts in joy every time I kill someone!”
  • “…”
  • “I’m not everyone.” Dmetri smiled.
  • “Why don’t you have a scar?”
    Dmetri didn’t answer, he looked around blankly.
    Amin looked back at him, “Dmetri?” She waited for him to answer.
  • Amin looked at the bottle, “Mikesa. That’s very bland. I don’t want any.”
    “I wasn’t offering any to you, you have nothing to celebrate.”
  • Find a different way of hinting at what happened to Dmetri when he was 18 that made him leave earth.
  • The council of the Naski consists of various elders throughout the Naski history, perhaps the non-telepathic Gaunzi is on the council, otherwise Nyura is mentioned, and Eva and Setsua are on the council.
  • “It’s eating me up inside, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I hate you, but you know that already.” –Setsua
    “Yes, I know. You say I’m just like your brothers and that I drink too much, that I was a disgrace for hitting Yaamefli that one day. I am a disgrace for my son. Now don’t be hating him too.” –Nyura
    “I don’t hate my own kind.” –Setsua
    “I take it you don’t judge people by how they look.” –Nyura
  • Too many of the names within the story end with either an “a” or an “i”. This issue needs to be addressed.
  • For referencing drugs used in interrogation see: ketamine, amobarbital, scopolamine, and sodium thiopental.